My First 30 Days of Motherhood
For fleeting memories, anxious Mothers-to-be and for all the super humans we called Moms.
Day 1: Finally after 36 hours, for a brief moment you forget the pain when you hold your child for the very first time. It is a super weird but satisfying feeling when baby comes out like a slippery fish.
Day 2: Still checking every box off with a plethora of drugs while feeding this little beast every 1-2 hours.
Day 3: Another day in the hospital – we finally have our private room and we’ve moved onto formula (while the milk was still coming in).
Breastfeeding Strategy: This lactation massager is the first ever milk expression aid! This tool can unplug milk ducts and get your milk flowing!
Day 4: Just like seasoning a chicken. Just tell yourself that when you are wiping a baby girl’s vagina.
Day 5: Primal. Babies are wild animals. They feed on you every 1-2 hours. Heads waling and smashing into boobs.
Side Note #114: Whoever came up with the poster slogan of “breast milk is best” must be male. Sure BM has a lot of nutrients not found in Formula, but if you need to top up with store bought go right ahead. It’s hard mentally and physically to force yourself to produce milk with a starving new born.
Day 6: It takes a village to raise a child. Parenthood friends brings food. Childless friends brings toys. Any help offered to look after Baby for 5 minutes while I take a shower is much appreciated.
Day 7: Never leave a New Mom unsupervised. They are super hormonal and emotional. I broke down over some bad humour. And never tell a new Mom that “You’re a Mom now. You just need to wear pj’s.” And NEVER send any family member a photo of Mom without her consent.
Day 8: Putting Baby on a new sleeping routine to correct her day/night confusion. Strictly no bright lights. Change dirty diaper and feed in the dark for fear – just like the vampires in I Am Legend. She can turn on you. I don’t want to go Will Smith on her.
Side Note #298: If you’re not helping…. who asked for your advise? Everyone always has an opinion.
Day 9: Immobilized with Baby on top of me. Binge watching Netflix. I’m scared if I move the monster would wake. We bought a Boba Baby Wrap. Thank fucking God for Amazon Prime same day delivery. We ordered it at 10am and was hands free by 7:30pm.
Day 10: We feel like horrible human beings. Baby Doctor was judging us because baby lost 2 oz. “You can never over feed a baby.” Where is the instruction manual?
Day 11: It was a SIMULATED SHARK. I feel personally attacked. My poor nipples.
Day 12: Today was the first day we ate in a restaurant with the Baby. We both felt so uneasy – what if she starts crying? takes a shit or catches some germs. I want to put a mini face mask on her.
Sleep strategy #247: Hubby sleeps in the guest room on work days.
Day 13: On my own today with Baby. I feel pretty accomplished taking her to the Doctor all by myself today. Everything takes twice as long. Plan for a 2 hour window before any appointment!
Day 14: This little human is officially 2 weeks old today. She was fussy all day during those Witching hour: between 3 to 7am marked by constant and inconsolable tears with only briefest moments of reprieve and the neediness to be cuddled.
Side Note #856: Infant fussiness usually starts at 2 to 3 weeks.
Day 15: Trying to avoid eye contact with Baby (so she doesn’t demand cuddles and I can go take a nap.) #badmom #momlife #insomnia
Sleep strategy #389: Don’t get too close to Baby, she can smell you!
Day 16: Baby smiled at me.
Day 17: Being a parent means that personal time (including sleep) is extremely scarce. Short, disconnected windows if you want to pursue your hobbies.
Sleep strategy #402: When Baby sleep, you SLEEP!
Day 18: I’m slurring and can barely hold a normal adult conversation. Sleep deprivation and baby brain seriously is hurting my social skills.
Day 19: Bath time always results in stink eye and concern looks. Stop judging me baby! It was Dad that bathed you!
Day 20: FML. Fussy baby all day. Once Daddy’s home, someone’s a little angel.
Day 21: I’m hiding in the bathroom. Never thought I’d find solace inside this 100 sqft space.
Day 22: It is 4am. Put the grenade down slowly without waking her. One false move and we are all toast.
Side Note #568: Infants are born with just 25 percent of adult brain size. Compared with other mammals, human infants take the longest time to grow up, and they remain in a biologically dependent state for the longest period of time. Human infants cannot control their bowels, speak, make tools, digest large molecules, or walk. In the words of anthropologist Ashley Montague, human infants are “extero-gestators” (1), meaning they complete their gestation after birth, and someone’s got to be there to help with it.
Day 23: Velcro Baby. She’s super clingy and needs cuddles and kisses all day long. There is no such thing as giving a baby too much contact or affection – they thrive on touch, and grow more the more they get of it. When they are deprived of these sensations, their primary survival response (crying) will produce cortisol (a stress hormone) as they attempts to attract the attention of their parents.
Day 24: It’s back to that straight jacket swaddle at night. Surprisingly she slept 3.5 hours straight through the night – both times after feeding and a fresh diaper.
Day 25: Postpartum Depression (PPD) / postpartum blues can hit anyone at anytime. Even if you think you’ve got it “together”, the overwhelming sense of exhaustion, confinement of talking only to an infant, and physical demands can wear on you. Caring for an newborn is 24:7. There are no breaks. Sometimes when dad goes to work, sometime it feels like he “leaves” us – even though it is not true.
Day 26: It’s not a joke when people tell you to get much sleep as you can, do couple-ly things, and travel before children. I get it now. Only parenthood friends get it now.
Day 27: Remember how good Baby slept the night before, well… last night, I was losing my mind.
Side Note #78: Sleep duration increases among babies who experiences increased skin-to-skin care. They seemed less agitated in general while enjoying more stable heart rates and breathing patterns leading to greater overall oxygenation. They breathe more regularly, use energy more efficiently, grow faster, and experience less stress.
Day 28: Feeling guilty of eating my dinner tonight while Baby was alone in the bedroom herself. Some call it guilt; I call it sanity.Day 29: Cluster Feed. Hourly attention.Day 30: I will never look at Dijon mustard the same way again.
Click for Month 2 HERE.